Now what?/ One Day at a Time

[melweb]

So lawyers are on my to-do list this week. Thanks job. Also OBGYN as I have no idea when those two lovebirds starting having sex.

Focusing on me. Got hair cut and colored today and got a tan. I was doing those things anyhow for Mexico trip, which I told H last night I am not going. He says, sarcastically. "Oh!This oughta be a fun trip." I did NOT say--"I guess you should have thought of that before you starting F'in another mans wife." Aren't you proud of me?

2x--your reply could not be more timely. I "feel" like he is just talking the talk to convince himself more than anything. But time will tell. I am getting so many mixed messages, he's giving me whiplash. Again!!

I know the OW is a trailer-trash piece of garbage. And that is my toned down description of her. But I have seen her Facebook picture. She's cute. Perfect teeth and big boobs, big blue eyes. Physical attraction is very important to my H. She has a full time job, runs in the summer and skis in the winter. But I digress-- you are right--what did she "win?" The booby prize for sure!!

MrBond-- I did not answer your question as I did not feel it necessary to 'justfy' my H's MLC. Does it make a difference? If so, here you go:

His parents D when he was 2, and his bio dad took the two older brothers, leaving the younger 3 siblings (including my H) with his mom. As a result he had zero relationship with his dad and a mediocre at best with his brothers. Mom remarried and stepdad was quite strict, but H eventually saw him as a dad, but he died when H was in 20's--never telling the man he loved him,(There is longer story here, but too long)

H is a type A, over-achiever, grass-is greener, kind of guy. W have been M 21 years and moved 12 times, always for something "better, or more money, or less stress." He has battled alcoholism (which is a factor at the moment), depression and anxiety, (which he is being treated for.) We have been thru a bankruptcy, foreclosure, and serious debt that we still have.

3 years ago we moved, yet again, back to our home town so H could be co-owner and COO of a biz. It cost us a fortune out of our own pocket, but it was "short term gain for long term pain." After 15 months, they fired him. We are still unsure why, but H went six months unemployed. More debt, borrowed from his mom to get us by. He gets job with current employer, and we start digging out. 4 months later they want to promote him. It requires another move. We bite the bullet and say yes.
We put house on market thinking it would sell quickly. It does not.

All is well when we first get here. We love it here. Boys love here. We are renting, but drive around looking at houses. We can't do much by way of entertainment, cuz we have no money. This really bugs the hell out of H. That is NOT why we moved here. By now the one hour commute each way, is taking its toll, and job is more stressful/pressure than he thought. House has not sold yet, and has not as of today! We now have double digit debt. The pressure is getting to me too as I am trying to pay bills, and keep H happy. I was grumpy, bitchy and exasperated. And I let everyone know it. (This was one of my 180s) And honestly our marriage has been bipolar for quite some time. When its good, its good; when its bad, its bad.

I get ILYBNILY in Nov.'15. H gets full body wax, starts tanning and whitening his teeth. Wearing thong underwear, skinny jeans and Converse sneakers. Gets some new girl "friends" that he likes to text, and even goes 3 hours north to see them. At this point he has not recommitted to me, so I do not say anything. 8 weeks after BD#1, he says he's not leaving and I do not have to live in fear. We have major R talks, what went wrong, what needs fixing and how to do that, date nights and lots of make up sex. 8 weeks later I get BD#2, and confirm the A, saying he tried, but he needs passion.