Need help. Threading water, learning to swim.

[G8r]

Haven't posted in a week. Last Friday WW was feeling ill and came to lie down on the couch as I was leaving for work. It looked like she had a bad headache so I poured her a cup of coffee, gave it to her and told her good bye as I left for work (she's usually still asleep when I leave for work). She later texted me, thanking me for my kindness saying it was unexpected. She felt better Friday evening and went to play trivia with our friends (I stayed home with D3). She initiated a conversation about our relationship when she returned and she started spewing and let me know all of my faults and why we could never R. I did my best validation work yet and eventually I ended the conversation by leaving to take our dog for a walk.

She also asked if she could take our D3 to see a ballet rendition of Sleeping Beauty. She gave me grief a week ago because I told her I needed time to think about it. I told her I didn't have a problem with them going to a 10am showing on Saturday. She came back a little while later and asked if I would like to go as well. I surprised her and myself by saying yes. So on Saturday my WW, D3 and I went to the ballet. I got bored by it but my D3 loved it. Things went ok. WW asked at ballet about filing taxes jointly. I told her I had planned on filing individual but married but I was open to the idea of filing jointly. We had lunch together when we returned home from the ballet.

Sunday and Monday she has continued to be nice and pleasant to me.

Don't get me wrong, I don't see the clouds parting and a path to R. I still see D in our future.

Some days I'm all for D and moving forward with my life and other days I'm all for R and moving forward with my life. I continue to pray and I continue trying to be grateful for the things that I do have (like D3). It doesn't remove the anger and sadness I have for my lost M, but it does soften the edges.

I've still been following many threads and hope to comment on them again soon. Vaya con dios.