My first post - please be nice.

[Sparkls]

This has come up with a couple of other people's threads to. It's ultimately up to you. I think trying to reason with her was probably not the best idea because it's just going to go in one ear and out the other.

For me, when I kicked H out because he was bringin OW to my home while I was gone, I packed the essentials and left them on the porch (not my finer moment). But anything else, he has to pack himself. Other have sided on helping them because they want them to have a lasting positive impression of the spouse.

I don't think there's a right answer, it's up to what you feel is right. Whatever your choice is, stick to it though. Don't let her guilt you into it (as she's trying to do).
I like the "I respect your opinion, but this is not what I want so I'm not comfortable helping you."