My first post - please be nice.

[collin]

I've got a general question about a leaving spouse.

I told my W, that I would help her out, but I'm not going to sit around packing her boxes, moving couches/bed, stuff like that. Because, although I "respect" her opinion, I am not in favor of it. I got told that is because I was selfish (I agreed - no point in fighting over it).

I asked her, ok, it's like this, if I told you I wanted to commit suicide, would you help me hold the gun? (she said that was completely dramatic and irrelevant - so be it).

Then, I told her, look, go find 10 guys (or girls) and ask them if one spouse was wanting to leave and the other was against it, would they help the departing spouse move. I told her if she found even 3 who would, I would help. (she said so what, now i'm basing our relationship off of other people - i realized this was going nowhere, so i just walked away).

My question is: of the ones whose spouse left, who helped the other move? And to what extent? I think she is expecting me to basically be her hired mover and I don't think I can nor be expected to.

But then again, if I sit around throwing fits about it doesn't that completely go against MOST of the rules. I don't want to do anything now that would cause any irreparable harm and ruin any future potential chances of reconciling.