Went out to coach handball tonight. I chose to miss last practice to spend time with the boys. It's great to get out and man I realized how bad my cardio is!
Having a couple hours enjoying teaching and taking to friends( other coaches are friends of mine). Is great, plus the work out we do helps me.
At the end of every practice head coach leads some core exercises. Now this guy is 6'2. 270lbs and it's not rippling muscle. But his core strength is incredible! These kids are struggling and dropping like flies. I am hanging in best I can and holding out longer than most, this guy doesn't even strain.
Tomorrow I have a busy day, took the day off and am going to use it to get my shoulder x Ray done. Get in a work out and go see L. It's been a week since I made the app. So a lot of the anger I used to fuel the call is gone, I want to use this to know what is best for me in my sitch. I fully trust this L as the other times I have seen him he simple explained what I need to do, how and where I can do it on my own if I want and if I need he will be there to be the pitbull. It is a little funny because W turned me into this L as her mom used him for her D and If I hadn't been in contact with him prior to bday she 100% would have gone to him already or his firm.
I am not using him as a scare tactic, only because he is the best for me and his cost is not u reachable.
I did realize today that I am still very caught up in trying to keep the peace with WW. I get anxious when I sense she is angry or upset and feel the need to explain myself or defend even before she potentially releases the anger. I'm not sure if it is co dependant behaviour or lack of self worth or self esteem issues. Whatever it is I do want it to stop. To stop worrying about what WW or anyone has to think about me for that matter. I can't control people's opinions or thoughts of me, I know that, living and practicing that knowledge is different though.
Someday I will find what I am looking for, or I won't. I may find something greater.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
