I go through that stuff too. A few good days and I start to get confident and then life kicks me in the peppers and I'm back to obsessing.
This process isn't linear so realize that everything you are going through is normal and to be expected.
And I truly believe that your W has to really think in her mind that it's over with you before she will have that thunderbolt epiphany and wonder why the hell she got rid of you. And that will take some time, buddy. No way around it.
I would back off on the texts for a while, just to give yourself some breathing room. She wants to be single? Let her realize what it's like to be single.
One of my good friends asked me if I loved my W. I said of course. Then he said, if you love her, why are you holding on to her so hard when she wants to find happiness away from you?
He makes a good point. Me holding on is kind of selfish if you think about it. Of course I love W and want her to be happy. So you know what? I'm going to respect her decision. And that's one of the reasons I don't contact her. She thinks I'm the reason for her unhappiness, so I'm going to give her the opportunity to realize maybe it wasn't all me after all.
It's scary to not have any contact, she could very likely move on. But if she does, did she really love me to begin with?
We have to really find a way to let them go, Tim. Yes, I would rather get hit by a car than to let her go. But I have no choice, I can't control her.
It's time for us to look in the mirror, my friend. What do WE want for OUR lives?
