He started OFF the conversation saying I know something is wrong and off with you today.
Control, telling you how you feel.
I know you still care about me.
Unkind at best
I know you are still in love with me.
Arrogant and privilidged. Preening.i
I know you still cry and are hurting. I know it is hard on you.
Fake validating. Smiling crocodile, if he had any residual care for the mother of his children then he will back off and leave you alone. This is truly vindictive.
I know you want me to come home, and you don't want a divorce. I know sweetie.
Patronising, treating yo as dependent and a toy he can dispense with.
Sooo you might as well tell me what is wrong. Plus we need to talk about us anyways and what we are going to do with the D.
Control, use of the word 'we' treats you as part of himself. You have no say an extension of him.
FIRST he wanted to GUESS what was wrong.
Did you meet someone? -no Not his business Did you sleep with someone? -no hypocritical Did you do something with someone andWTF you are feeling guilty? No, and I have nothing to feel guilty about. Why the????
He wanted to know my cards. Asked if I filed, asked what I have done for the D. I said nothing. Asked my plan, I said IDK. He asked if I was going to try to screw him over for every penny he has. I said I do not know what I am doing, I have made no decisions.
Cards, chest close
His OFFER: GIVE ME THE HOUSE, Pay my car, cell phone, water. Gives me 500$ a month for food and gas. My job covers utilities in the house.
Since if he has to give me 1000$ he can't afford the house anyways so I might as well stay in it and have it so he says. He said he doesn't care about the house. He wants the kids to have a house and be happy and make sure i'm okay too.
I said I am making no decisions, I need to think about it.
OH THAT ALSO MEANS WHEN HE WANTS THE KIDS HE WOULD COME HERE AND SLEEP AND I WOULD LEAVE. EVEN DIVORCED. It [censored] enough doing this Sh*t separated. Imagine it DIVORCED.
oh hey, my ex H stuff is all over my house because he still stays here 2x a week.
Go see your L
He said he wants me happy.
You believe this? Really?
He says I will not be single forever and he knows this. It will hurt him when I find someone NOT BECAUSE I WANT YOU BACK but because it just will. I want to approve of the person, I want a good person to be around you and the kids and takes care of you guys. I want to approve.
This is megalomania at its worst.
I just said until the judge says I'm fully divorced I have no plans on dating.
no lovely. Please don't make any promises to this man.
He said he heard rumors and wanted to squash them and told me like 8 rumors he heard that were upsetting them about him since they were not true and doesn't want me thinking they are so it hurts me. I tuned him out since I do not believe him anyways.
He told me I am really beautiful. That I look great.
[color:#660CC]Sweet cycle. [/color]
He says he tries to talk to me,to be here for me, to be my shoulder to cry on, to be the person I go to for comfort. I said That isn't your job anymore.
He said I know but I'm still HERE for it. I still want to be that person. You are the mother of my kids. You are ALWAYS going to be important to me. You will always have a piece of my heart. I still really care about you. I really do and I don't want to hurt you.
I don't want to hurt you? He enjoys hurting you, it makes him feel powerful and in control.
He said it's not like much changed when he left. He always worked nights and I did it almost all on my own anyways. I WAS LIKE NO it's way different. Lets switch for a week if it's SO EASY BEING A SINGLE MOM.
He mentioned his trip with the OW and I said I didn't want to know. He wanted to explain..he got out I didn't pay. I said I don't want to know about your life and what you do with her..that is when I cracked and got teary eyed, and went to my room to cry.
He waited 30 mins before he knocked and asked to finish talking before work. I came out cold as ice probably.
I calmly said I just do not want her around our kids before it is final. He said okay of course I won't bring her around them. Then he was like this is weird. You are so calm mentioning her. You smacked me across the face when you found out and you are hostile when you usually hear her name.
I just said your life, you do what you want, keep her away from my babies until it's over. I don't want to know or hear anything.
He asked me when I wanted to file. I said I have no idea. He said he still will give me at least the full 6 months I asked for and maybe June- July we can talk about filing and to think about his offer. Let him know if he needs to lawyer up for a nasty divorce in court.
Found out his grandparents never stepped foot into a room with each other for 35 years.
Grandpa left Grandma for another women, married her and was with her for 35 years until she died. AFTER she died was the first time they were ever seen together then his grandma died a month after the OW.
His dad left and cheated on his mom, filled divorce papers, never FILED them. Said he came back for the kids, and he loved her, right thing to do..but also regrets it sometimes and it would have been easier to start over. They have been married 35 years now.
So his male role models in life SUCK A**
I cried, A LOT after he left. I don't think there is a single tear in me after today.
2nd divorce talk. It is like every 8 weeks he wants to talk about it.
I tried my best to keep it together..at this point maybe I should just focus on getting a divorce.
