Still moving in a new direction

[mleigh4]

Well Cali, H gave me his caulk tonight when I dropped off S with him. LOL, Sorry, I couldn't resist

So today my mom was back in action. Only a few weeks after unblocking her, she is beating me up again. She had asked what to get S for his birthday, I was honest and told her your guess is as good as mine, I struggle with ideas myself because he doesn't want anything! So she decided to get him an alarm clock and a portable radio and had them shipped to the house. He opened the box, then called and thanked her. She keeps asking if he has them out yet, if he has used them. She asked again today. I suppose I need to learn how to lie in these situations? I told her not quite yet, but he will. I got back an email at work that I am rude and ungrateful for her gift to her grandson.

Ok, why do I keep hearing these words? From her and H? Then it hit me. I don't see what me or my son are doing other than not living up to THEIR expectations of us. Please correct me if I am wrong, but I finally see it as their problem, not ours. I am so tired of hearing how I fail with them, so get out of my life and leave me alone already if I am so awful! What the frick do they want from me?

Instead of getting defensive, fighting back or ignoring her, I decided to handle it in a different way this time. I told her, I once again have not lived up to her expectations enough for her to bother me at work to call me rude and ungrateful. I said, I don't understand why so please tell me exactly what you want me to do?

Boy, did that shut her up. I got silence for a long time, then a reply that I am a good daughter and a good mom and let's just let this go. Needless to say, I blocked her on my work email again to avoid her bothering me at work any further.

I can't wait to try this out with H! It's total honesty and puts the ball in their court. I too think he would have no idea what to say once he realized his expectations are too ridiculous to even say. Like....you should be forcing S to shower not bathe! Or how about....force S to like short hair, not long!!

I just wish H could see the damage he is doing. S is again complaining about having to go with his dad, and it was getting so much better.