I think that change is possible but spouse has to be motivated. Spouse will only be motivated if they want us back badly enough. If they don't, then we (the LBS) will probably be walking on egg shells for the rest of our marriages, and that's probably best case scenario.
It's really hard to accept this. Certainly a blow to the ego.
I think continue with detachment. Hold back a little. Maybe let her do the pursuing. If she wants you back she will. If not, it sounds like you have other paths ahead of you as well.
Unfortunatly, it's all a game when dealing with WS. They don't appreciate what they have. They need to pursue or to lose something in order to appreciate it. If you still want them, unfortunatly you have to play game.
