Waw, she is in love, need advice/support

[Bear007]

Yes, it says not to get help from family, and definitely not from her side of the family.

She is on the PMS dark side now, and she is arguing constantly, so not a good idea to confront her, no matter who you are (and this especially goes for me)

There should be a rule : do not talk to her during PMS

[Bear007]

I did stupid today, we went on a activity for child together, and she kept swearing and swearing, random stuff, about me being stupid, about other drivers....

I was pissed off and then went into berserk mode for 10 seconds, putting pedal to the floor and hitting the red with motor (manual shaft). She was silent for 10 minutes after that.

Not my proudest moment because there was child present, and also I could hear her thoughts: 'so happy to get away from this idiot soon'

On the other hand - no harm done and I am so sorry that I didn't stop and took 10 seconds pause instead of this... well next time I know.

[sandi2]

Okay, so when she does this again, how will you handle it?

[sandi2]

There should be a rule : do not talk to her during PMS

That's just a given.

[Bear007]

Okay, so when she does this again, how will you handle it?

Deffinitely not like I did yesterday.

Stop if I can and leave the car for as long as I need.

Car situation is just specific because there is other traffic to watch out for and other people and fuse for swearing, nagging and other distractions is just too low.

Definitely not react to her the way she wants it, and I am aware that from her POW she did nothing wrong and I am the idiot I am the only one who learned something from this (and unfortunately daughter learned few wrong things...)

[Bear007]

I went on a 2 day business trip, when I returned all I got was:
-you don't do anything around the house
-I am much happier when you are not around

I did not even want to get into a fight about who is bringing all the money on the table and that she can leave anytime if she is unhappy. just finished work and went to bed...

[Bear007]

Again on trip - and hardest thing is not to contact her.

Usually we talked or sent messaged at least 2-3 times a day... now it has been 2 days where I sent only 1 message that I arrived. And that was only because she asked me to.

Good thing is that this 2 trips (I travel rarely because of work) gave me a little time to get out off the home situation, and part of me likes it - to be away and not to get involved.

[Bear007]

Back from the trip, she has mixed feelings again - wants sex (offers it 3 -4 times a day) and still clearly says she does not want to live with me, that she will move away when she gets a job.

She repeated few times that she does not understand why am I refusing free sex, my answer is/was that I want sex with my wife, and not someone who wants to be separated.

[sandi2]

She repeated few times that she does not understand why am I refusing free sex, my answer is/was that I want sex with my wife, and not someone who wants to be separated.

You are a better person than I am. I would have been tempted to look her up and down, and then say, "You aren't all that"! Or....."Hey, I have standards".

Man, she is really full of herself! May I offer a serious suggestion? Don't tell her you want sex with your W. When a WW thinks her H will melt at the idea of her having sex with him.......she really, really needs a rude awakening. Just turning her down does not work for this gal. You need to show her that she has lost your interest. Act as if you are not attracted to this woman she has become. You can't tell her in words, b/c she won't buy it for a second. You have to behave in a way that shows her you are not interested in what she has to offer.

What this may actually do is two-fold. One, she starts to reasses herself and why you are not attracted to her. Two, it may cause her to start wanting what she can't have.......which is you. It helps to shift the dynamics in this situation. Presently, she feels she is the one in control of the relationship. She should realize she's not the one running you.

[Bear007]

Thanks sandi2 for serious suggestion.

I am already doing that - she gets ignore all the time, and that I lost interest, but still she finds that if she offers sex continuously that I will somehow accept sex without love... strange indeed, I would get the message already. Since now I am in control it feels even good sometimes.

As for the looking and saying that I have standards.. very tempted to do that all the time, but I am well in control of myself, and also don't want to piss her off more than necessary - local law here is pro-women oriented and if she wants she can take child away from me without a blink...