I feel a shadow of him in me. A deep hole in my heart, my body and as if literally a piece of my brain and life are missing. I feel empty in some ways and incomplete in some ways and ok in others.
Wow, that quote really says it all doesn't it? Hope - I can't offer much advice today, but wanted to say that I completely understand how you feel. I wouldn't wish D or S on my worst enemies. It truly is the worst roller coaster I have every been on (and I used to love roller coasters). Today hasn't been so great and I am just so tired. And, I know you are too. I wish that I had some really great words of encouragement.
All I can say is what I plan to do for me tonight (in the same emotional place as you). I am going to GAL at divorce care. I am going to continue to detach from my H. I am going to continue to "stand for my marriage" while detaching for my sanity. And, hope and pray that the DB'ing will someday make me realize that I have dropped the rope and become the best version of myself. It is going to have to be a conscious decision today not to allow myself to get too deep into sorrow.
We can do this, Hope. We have to stay strong and continue to move forward.
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
