Well, this is it. I've talked with the attorney several times today - there's no going back at this moment. The W hasn't said anything further to her attorney.
In order to "stop the divorce" we would both need to sign off (the petitioner would need to initiate) and the only consideration for this is reconciliation. Apparently, whether or not that was a thought it's gone now.
I'm not willing to mediate at this point, I've been lied to too many times. I never would have known about that bank account - who knows what else I might learn?
The L thinks that the W wanted to stop because she will have to pay so much in spousal support. Welcome to California. I still want to believe she - even for a moment - considered R.
As far as the dog - this is one of the 2 fights my L sees for tomorrow. the W has no intention of even splitting time with me.
I've printed out text messages and emails showing she had no idea what the dog even ate, where to get it, when to give her heart meds to her - and claiming she would never go to court over the dog. Yet, here we are! The words out of her own mouth are pretty damning.
I even have a video. I'm not sure that will come into play, because it was the assistant who claimed I ignored the dog, not the W the day I was recording. How stupid is it to say somebody did something when that person is video recording the event? But, it's probably not admissible. The W mentioned it in her response though - who knows what the court might think. Still, I want to be 101% prepared. I'm making no assumptions.
I really, really don't want to see the W tomorrow. It's going to be hard to keep it together. She's probably looking fantastic by now. And, getting ready for her little week long trip with the OM. While somebody else takes care of the dog.
I too was hoping for a session today Tim, but I don't have time. Who knows, I'll probably need it worse after I go to court. I just can't believe it was only Friday that for almost 24 hours it looked as if things had turned around. That I stood a spec of a chance. How cruel. I wonder if she realizes? Why would anybody do that?
Sorry to bail, but I've got to keep printing and organizing. Once I feel good about presenting this stuff with a non-functioning brain first thing in the morning after no sleep - I'll check back in.
Yeah, the W practices "as if" too. As if your H was Satan.
Me: 58 Her: 59 Kids: 0 Dog: 1 ILYBINILWY: 9/15 D Bomb: 1/11/16 (found out filed) Verified OM: 1/11/16 Moved out: 1/11/16 (thought it was temporary)
In order to "stop the divorce" we would both need to sign off (the petitioner would need to initiate) and the only consideration for this is reconciliation. Apparently, whether or not that was a thought it's gone now.
Yep, now you see how this makes a lot more sense than what you were describing last week? You were stressed for no reason...
Regarding the dog: I suppose it will be a non-issue. I wonder if your WW will show up tomorrow? Chances are you'll get the dog if it even comes up. Just have your evidence ready and convince the judge.
I'm on the other side of the support issue, which really bites. I'm the faithful husband yet I'm stuck paying my WW 40%+ of my net take home pay?!? How does that make sense??? I can understand if I'm the one who cheated on her. But because she had it easy before BD, I have to "maintain her lifestyle" through the divorce proceedings? I tell you, this is the one thing I find terribly unfair. I am totally fine paying child support but paying alimony to someone who did me wrong? I hate it.
Me-LBH, 48 Spouse-WW, 48 Married for 19 years Son, 12 BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding) BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA) WW filed D February 2016 WW moved out April 2016
1313 - I sincerely hope things go as well as they can tomorrow. I am so very sorry that she pulled at your heart strings like that. These WAS's have no idea what they have done or how they have hurt us. Really, it is all about them and their happiness. I will be thinking of you. Good luck
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
CWOL - I am in the opposite boat - my H moved me to a state with no spousal support one year before he dropped the bomb. I will get no alimony even though I stayed at home (both of us decided this together so I gave up one career and never started another). So, I get nothing going forward for the 14 years I spent raising his kids and taking care of them while he built up his career traveling every week and screwing his co-worker the last 8 months. Even tonight (his overnight with the boys) I will pick them up from school and feed them until he gets them at 6. I am not complaining only because that gives me more time with the boys, of which I will take every minute I can. I understand your frustrations. I think infidelity should negate any spousal support or the person responsible should be the one to pay it.
Sorry for the hijack 1313
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
Last edited by Cadet; 03/15/1601:19 AM. Reason: Link
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
