My first post - please be nice.

[TimR]

Collin, I am sorry you are having such a hard time. I am sorry I cannot tell you it will get better next week... next month. You do not need to 'man up' because these situations hit us all hard no matter if we are men or women. It $ucks and is not fair. No doubt in someway we contributed to our situations and the reasons our WAS left us. However, we are not to sole factor. We may have been distant, may have taken our Ws for granted, may not have helped around the house or valued our Ws opinions how they should have been valued. BUT we are also the ones who chose to stay and not walk out that door. Who chose not to cheat and remained faithful. We must own our mistakes and responsibilities in a failing M but recognize we are not the sole causes.

With that in mind, you need to work on you. One your first post you listed a lot of your mistakes. How do you plan to fix those character flaws. Self reflection is tough but true changes are even tougher. You cannot make those changes in a scheme to get W back. Maybe she will see them and decide to come back, maybe she will just keep walking. YOU NEED to make the changes for you. If you get back with W you will not want to repeat those mistakes. If you end up in a new relationship, again you do not want to repeat those mistakes. Get why those changes have to be for you???

I wish you the best of luck buddy. Feel free to vent and weigh in on others threads...