Need practical ideas to aid my 180/Last Resort.WAW

[bigybiz]

Thanks Sandi2.

I've read those and I was pretty good in the 1st place on the day to day. I went great guns on catching up on the repairs and maintenance. I'm backing that off a little now. Someone (maybe you) said that some WAW get more resentful when they see the projects getting completed after they have "pulled the trigger".

I'm trying to stay balanced and not do everything. That's an ongoing internal struggle. I've been direct a few times (i.e. I'll do the sheets and towels can you take care of the kitchen and bath). I figure that's a neutral approach.

I've started taking on half if not more of the meal prep work. It's been great when by 10 son has requested I make a certain meal.

I'm looking for those other items, that may have worked for others (shifting perceptions). One activity I started de-cluttering. primarily my own stuff and the kid's. I figure it's a good activity anyways. One or two items a day meet their demise.

So all ideas are welcome.

As I've said - I'm not sure what is going to work. There has been no response/acknowledgement and her moods change. So I'm looking for ideas that I can implement and if they work - great if not, I'll keep trying.

I do lots with the two kids in home - sometimes she joins in some times she does not. The kid's have realized how detached and minimally involved she is in their lives. Again, I worry about the see-saw effect.

On the emotional side - I'm trying too. When we talk - which is rare, I try and listen and validate. It's a struggle. But, I'm trying. I also struggle with when it's time to stop the convo. I know the DR and DB have instructed us to be the person to cut the conversation off - don't let them do it. Any ideas on the emotional side is really needed too.

I'm struggling and I really like the help that's here - so please keep it coming.