That is very interesting because he kind of followed that pattern. I think is love avoidant at this time because he is very afraid of repeating past patterns. But he was very open about his feelings with me said the "ILY's" and pulled back when he almost asked me to move in with him. He got scared of repeating that pattern.
Linda, Your kind words always warm my heart. I do actually believe he loved me. Terrified of it, though. Maybe terrified of losing himself again. And he hasn't found himself since the last R. Well, we are broken up since last week. I told him I couldn't have contact if we weren't together. So it's been a painful week.
Talking to my bestie last night, she asked if I actually miss HIM or just the companionship. I realized what is different this time compared to my other half-relationships. I miss HIM. Sure, I miss the companionship, but it is HIS companionship I miss. But I'll just have to get over it. I can't make him want to commit to us. maybe there is someone out there for me, maybe not. I just have to get back to being right with myself. I am very sad, the life kind of got sucked out of me with this one. But I am spending more time with friends and family again. it was nice this weekend. This week I am making corned beef and cabbage and having my friend and her family over. I do have a life, and great people in it, and I do intend on living it. Maybe someone will want to share a little of my life with me:) maybe not.
It's been very therapeutic to talk this out. I feel like I might be a little obsessive with it, but honestly, it's all that's been on my mind this week. From the second I wake up, and even in my dreams, unfortunately. I'm going to really start the process of moving on. I know it was a short R, but I thought this one the one, and I don't take that lightly.
