I swear there some sparkling somewhere...(4)

[TimR]

sparkls sorry for the rough day you are having. It is not fair to any of us the things our WS put us through. I have to agree with Thornton that we all imagine our WS having this great time but I do not it is as good as they let on. Maybe, they do not have the same fears and doubts we do with constantly analyzing conversations, BUT they just walked away from a large part of themselves... us. That cannot be easy. OP's probably comfort that pain, just like if we were to go on meds or find OPs ourselves. But in the end you still have to face it. Walking away right into another relationship when you are not thinking right is a recipe for disaster, IMHO. That by no means is intended to say they will wake up, see the error of their ways and beg us for forgiveness but I am firmly convinced they will regret their actions.

Having said that, WE have to focus on US and take control of OUR happiness. In our sitches that is so incredibly difficult to do. So we need to start small. Thornton and I have the mall and new clothes. If it just brings us a few seconds of happiness it is worth it. Working out and feeling satisfied about accomplishments that is good. When I first read the books and it talked about goals, I thought "well that is easy, My goal is to start having phone calls w/I a month, dating month 2 and her moving back month 3." That was my goals. NOW, I am slowly realizing I need to have goals I can personally work toward and have some control over. Now my goals are "Wrestle in MAWA (need to work out harder, Run a 5k (need more cardio), get a 6 pack (need to eat healthier) and if I have contact with WW be civil and friendly no matter how she acts (need to push any anger and depression aside).

You are an intelligent driven woman which is so much stronger than a man. You have an extremely bright future and I envy the journey you are on professionally. I remember the excitement and anxiety finishing grad school. Don't lose sight of that!