[2Times2Many]

The whole issue of how much to "do" or support the MLCer reminds me of my elders asking why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? LOL.

I think I look at what I do for h on a case by case basis. Some things I do because it's actually in MY best interest to make sure they are done ... like paying utility bills or maintaining the house. We don't split the utility bills since he doesn't live in the house, but he does pay his half of maintenance, insurance and such.

I could stop doing things like depositing his checks, but that would make his life a complete and total train wreck (even more so than it already is) and I have no desire to actually do him harm. I figure since I voiced my displeasure about doing that, perhaps he'll be a little more appreciative that I do. Probably wishful thinking, but I'm not ready for WWIII. He doesn't seem to look at me as the enemy anymore, so why become one??

There is no one size fits all and the only ones who can really determine if what we are doing, helping or not, is the right thing to do in our sitch is us.

I do agree with Job, however, that if the sitch becomes stagnant with no movement, then it's time to change something. But only you, Bright, can really know when that time is right.