My story JB910 (2)

[broke]

I agree with Vapo - she is going to do what she wants. And, telling her not to date is controlling. And, if you say not to date because it ruins chances for reconciliation then you are pushing her into relationship talk. Time to give her the space and time she needs while you DB. Hopefully, she will see that you are a man only a fool would leave.

[CWOL]

I'm really struggling with this WW terminology. I've got no evidence of any affair and I've done a lot of snooping.

I thought you're the one who suspects EA since January? That's in your signature lines.

[CWOL]

I hear what you're saying. I'm [censored] scared to death of letting go.

Isn't that why you are here? To Detach? To Detach is to let go.
Again, Vapo is right. Asking her to not date is useless. She already fired you from your job as her husband. You're asking her not to find another employee to fill your spot? It won't work. She already had a plan before she fired you.

[Jb9140]

Suspects is key word here. I went ahead and told he we have to have different accounts. She pays her own bills new car payment since she taking the new car, her student loan. She pays here own bills for her apartment electric cable phone etc. . All kids expenses split down the middle. She said that's fine. Will see how this goes. I'm going to do my best to detach.

[Jb9140]

All right, it's official shes moving into a apartment and paying her own bills with separate bank accounts. She asked last night if it would be alright if she took our bedroom set. I said NO. I told her she can buy or get furniture from friends. She can take any personal belongings and clothes, but that is it. I'm going to do my best to detach and GAL. We are going to split time with the kids. I get them Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. I don't think this is going to work in the long run, but for now I said it's fine. She also mentioned that the apartment she's moving to has a pool, and I welcome to take the boys to it when ever I want. Suggestions on DB'ing this situation.

[broke]

JB,

Just wanted to say that it is going to be tough to do every other day with the kids if they are overnights….it is rough on them to switch houses so often.

IMHO, I would say thanks, but no thanks to the pool. She can take them when they are there. You need to find other opportunities to make memories to make with your kids. (parks, community pools, story time at libraries or B&N, etc)

Continue to detach and DB strongly. Take the high road. You've got this.

[Jb9140]

Wow!! I'm having a hard time concentrating the last couple of Hours. I think I'm having some major anxiety attacks, but they feel surreal. I don't know any other way to explain it. Many thoughts going through my head with this upcoming Separation. Thoughts like, "Maybe she'll change her mind at the last minute, should I start dating immediately or wait til I confirm some type of affair." I hope these are normal and par for the course. Or maybe I'm losing my mind. This really suxs!!!!

[Sparkls]

When I packed up my H's stuff and put it on the porch, I had half convinced myself he was going to come home and beg me to let him stay. Then part of me thought it would be the last time I ever saw him. What actually happened is he didn't say a word. I came out and told him I loved him but he needed to figure out his sh*t. He just said 'I know" and walked away and has never looked back.
It's all part of the roller coaster.

[Thornton]

JB,

It's normal. I had some wicked anxiety and sometimes still do. If I even see a picture of W, it can literally make my hands shake.

I still have issues concentrating at work but it is getting better.

[Jb9140]

Wife is moving into her new apartment April 1st. At this point I have know Idea if she's WW, Walk AWAY, or whatever term. What is the best approach for moving day. she's not taking a lot, but probably enough to use a little help. Do I stay leave the house while she moves out, do I help with moving things, etc.... This is going to be a really hard day. Acting as if is going to be hard as hell.