You have been strong.You still are. Good luck going forward.

After your rolkercoaster ride you deserve peace and happiness.I hope you find them.

Regarding H, he will no longer have a hiding place.You are moving out of the holding pattern. The next move is his. Don't expect him to suddenly change and give you what you need. Move forward for you, but it could happen.

Happy thoughts

R 25 years
M 14 years
S11 & S13
Working on it alone since Oct 2014
M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years)
Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr.
Next R chat Aug'17
Still together