I Still Think It's Too Late (pt 2)

[1313]

I'm ok without her. Have you gotten to the point where you'd truly be ok without Mrs. 1313?

trumpet, I don't know. I truly don't. I love her with all my heart and soul. I think on one hand I can do it, and then I collapse.

Tonight she texted, then emailed me. Stupid things she can figure out. What were the disks and SD card I left? The scans of her artwork she asked for - and that I said I would take some DVD's for - of course.

Then, she wanted to know the password for the router. Fair enough. Why does her device not remember it?

Is this some sort of excuse to reach out? I'm too heartbroken to answer. Our 35th anniversary, tonight.

Last night, I was reading 1 Samuel, and made it to chapter 16 when I fell asleep. Today, a new pastor for the Church - what is the sermon? Insurmountable odds and 1 Samuel Chapter 16 on. Talking about that "gap" where you need to be ready to perform. When you feel as if you're in limbo. If that's not a message, I don't know what is. But I'm too daft to get the connection.

I can't stand this. But trumpet, you're right. I've felt more and more today that she started this - and I'd bet a nickel that I don't have to do a thing tomorrow. She will continue from where it left off. This was just a blip on the radar - a kibble as you put it.

I'm willing to bet anything that she's not willing to file a stop order - things will move ahead.

If she stopped to consider - and I think that's what happened - she realized she's not capable of doing what it will take to reconcile. She can't break off the A. She can't and won't give up the A.

This week is going to be a test - as she's getting a room with the OM before they go to the high school reunion retreat. They're all in a house together - and she doesn't want to give anything away. But I'm willing to bet this is the week that it comes out in the open. Her assistant is there (and knows and has been protecting her) and I just feel that she's been having momentary second thoughts. But those have passed.

You know what I want? My little dog. She's going away, and won't even have the courtesy of letting me take care of the dog. Yet she wants to have a mediator.

No, the insanity stops tomorrow. Either she p%^*s or gets off the pot. I have to move forward for my own sake and sanity.

I want to talk with a DB coach before I talk with my L, but the rope is burning my hands. I'm ready to drop it. My heart has been broken for the last time. I'm ready to come about and tack. I'm done with this course, and go my own way. Which way the W goes is up to her.