(un?)fortunately, most of my family has disowned me at this point after my mom died. But that's a story for another day (and is up on my thread somewhere I think). I do get my dad asking me questions fairly often, but it comes with the territory.
FWIW, I'm on wellbutrin. When I first started on it, it can make you a little...amped I guess is the best way of putting it? Like a really strong cup of coffee. But you adjust pretty quickly. But everyone is different and there's a million ADs out there.
M:26 H:32 T:8yrs ILYBNILWY/ "I'm not happy": 2/6/16 D-Day-discovered PA/EA: 2/10/16 Separated: 2/14/16 He's living with OW I moved to different state: 06/16 Currently: Trying to move forward
I agree with Sparkles - no mind reading or expectations about the talk. Do your best to be detached, act light and breezy and try not to talk about R.
Sorry you still aren't feeling good. I'm in the same spot with detachment. I'm not pursuing or begging for reconciliation anymore. However, I do think about my sitch all the time unless I'm busy or distracted with the kids. I think like tl2 said, it's a constant decision to keep trying to detach. I guess we keep faking it until it sticks.
Keep us posted about your talk. I'll be thinking of you and I hope it goes well.
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
I just want so badly for him to regret this. I don't think that he does And I do not think that he will. I want so badly, for one day the situation to be reversed. Where I no longer want him back and he wants to come back.
I know this is rarely the case. This is just something we tell ourselves. I know the best revenge is to be happy. When will this happen for me? I am really feeling little optimism right now.
My friend pointed out that when he told me he was miserable, he was saying that because of his job. Not because of not having me in his life. She said, it's been close to a year and he is just getting more used to being away from us. This will be easy for him because the year prior we had no real family life or intimacy..we were living with my parents. I really hate him and what he has done and what he is doing.
I know the feeling JuJu, I really do. Being happy and letting go is the best path for you and if it's best for you, it's best for the twins. Be strong and live well
I just want so badly for him to regret this. I don't think that he does And I do not think that he will. I want so badly, for one day the situation to be reversed. Where I no longer want him back and he wants to come back.
I have dreams about this, JujuB, but I agree I think that living a fulfilled, happy life is truly our best revenge. And, I am with you, I just posted a while ago that I would like to really detach and stop faking it. I know that is where DB'ing is supposed to take us if we choose to continue on the journey of being the best version of ourselves we can be. But, sometimes it is just exhausting and sometimes it is hard not to focus on reconciling when that is really what we want.
I don't have much great advice tonight, JujuB, except for you to know that you are not alone. And, you are a loyal, smart, kind and devoted mom and wife. Whether it is your H or another man, that person will be very blessed to have you in your next relationship. I hope you are physically feeling better so you can get back to working out and GALing.
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
I know in the scheme of things, husband leaving is not the biggest thing to happen.
I know it is more a failure of his then mine.
I know that by thinking of him, I am not focusing on the other wonderful stuff I have in front of me.
I know that this experience, has taught me things I would not have been able to learn any other way. And if it hasn't then all this pain is just wasted and I am a complete fool.
What you have learned through this experience may not be useful in this moment. It has become a piece of you non the less. Each piece of the jigsaw puzzle means little on it's own but when you put them together they help to create something greater.
I am learning 1. How to not act on my emotions (especially when they are anxiety driven). 2. To not sweat the small stuff in life. 3. To not take someone for granted.
What I need help with 1. How to be positive when things are not going the way I want them to.
I just want so badly for him to regret this. I don't think that he does And I do not think that he will. I want so badly, for one day the situation to be reversed. Where I no longer want him back and he wants to come back.
I thought I was the only one!
I have actual conversations (out loud) in my car where W calls me and says she made a big mistake and wants to come home. And then I respond by saying, "I'm sorry, I've moved on and I don't think my girlfriend would appreciate me talking to you. Out of respect for her, I need to get off the phone. I wish you the best of luck, take care of yourself."
I am learning 1. How to not act on my emotions (especially when they are anxiety driven). 2. To not sweat the small stuff in life. 3. To not take someone for granted.
What I need help with 1. How to be positive when things are not going the way I want them to.
^^^ THIS is really good stuff, Juju. This is how you grow. This is the person you are becoming and if you keep it up, I promise you, you will reap what you sow.
