Still hoping for progress II

[daybyday]

Thanks for feedback y'all. You're right Vapo. There will be a deadline. I definitely don't need this crap everyday.

I was my usual self around her. Hell it's only been one day.

I have told my S that I don't want this, and I am trying to make the situation better. Gave him no time frame or any guarantees. He is already starting to give her a hard time. Rightly so I might add. That friends line is going to take a bit to figure out.

I won't let her roughshod me.

Gosh, one day and there is already drama. Ugh!

Well back to my basketball and brackets. Go Butler!

[daybyday]

Just the Sunday doldrums. It seems so hard to be optimistic when all of her important stuff has been taken, and she has signed a one year lease. Sure she could sublet if she decides to reconcile, but today it is her planning her future life without me. It hurts also to see some personal things that I had given her just thrown in a corner and left as she took the "important" stuff.

I know that I am so early in this but WAW has a past history of this behavior 8 years ago.

Just so depressing knowing that so much of our lives are put on hold with no measuring stick for R progress. Sure, GAL can be measured but I want my W and my M again.

Wouldnt we all like to be carefree and unencumbered by decisions to make in regards of a family. but that comes with price of not having anyone to share your good times with. GAL is great but to not share good times with someone is not how I want to live my life. It doesnt seem normal.

Bottom line is that I miss her dearly already. I have missed her for 2 months when she had mentally checked out.

[broke]

Daybyday,

I'm glad you survived yesterday and are already acting "as if" on the phone. Not sure why you are helping pick her couch and chair? Anyway, keep up the DBing, make sure she only sees you at your best now. Act light and breezy, dressed well and no forced talk about R or M. It's going to be tough getting used to her not being there. Trust me, you will need to force yourself to go out and GAL or you may sink into a deep sadness being in quiet house. It's only been two months and she hasn't seen true consequences of her moving out yet. Start your detaching in earnest and let's hope she sees that you are a man she was stupid to leave.

Glad Butler made it in!

[Rednail]

Daybyday it will be okay! The first few weeks were the hardest for me..but it gets easier to not see them all the time. I started dvring tv shows for nights where I can't stop thinking so I can mentally check out and just watch good tv. I agree with everything broke said also!

[daybyday]

Thanks Broke. Yeah, I don't think I am gonna help her. I didnt commit to do it and i don't think i will.

I know you're right Broke. thanks for the pep talk. I feel better already. Yeah I'm glad they did too. But Michigan??????

[broke]

I'm a Hoosier fan, so the more big ten teams the better :-). I also like other Indiana teams like Butler and Notre Dame. Love the NCAA tournament. Good distraction this year at least!

[daybyday]

I had to take something to my S who is at WAW new apt. He showed me around his room and his bathroom and was excited. I was excited for him too. Sad for me though. I was hoping it would be kind of junky so coming back home with me would be something he could look forward to. It's a nice apt. Nothing fancy but nice. It has a park with basketball courts with other kids for S to play with. I live on a street where there are no kids for him to play with.

It's not fair that WAW get to start out fresh and new while we LBH are left with multiple cat boxes to clean out, the repairs to house, grass to mow,the 20 year old fixtures and various other stuff.

They get to just check out and start fresh just like she did the M. I wish I could just check out when it gets rough but that wouldnt be me.

Just lamenting a bit as it just doesnt seem fair. We get to clean up the remnants and mess of the M.

Sorry I'm such a bummer. Just another punch to the gut and I was doing pretty good. I hadnt really cried in a couple days. Of course I had my sweet boy with me.

I don't know how some of you do it. Months and months of DBing. I'm only on my third day of sep. and it seems unattainable to me at this point. So many obstacles.

I did make the gym and felt good about that. I HAVE to make new friends. My best buddy lives 1.5hours away. I just am not very social and would have a hard time making friends. Something has got to give. Please excuse my whining as many of you have much worse sit. than mine, but we all have one thing in common. We miss our spouses and time is slow a S.O.B.

[GWH]

They get to just check out and start fresh just like she did the M. I wish I could just check out when it gets rough but that wouldnt be me.

Just lamenting a bit as it just doesnt seem fair. We get to clean up the remnants and mess of the M.

I sure can relate to that. Hang in there my friend.

[Thornton]

We've all been there, my friend. No need to apologize.

I know it hurts to see W's new place. It feels so permanent. While she might be enjoying it now, wait until it loses it "new car smell" and she starts to get her bills and come home stressed out from work to have to make dinner etc.

The WAS's think its all a bed of roses and then the realities of life punches them in the teeth. The grass isn't always greener.

Keep taking those baby steps towards being the best you possible. And don't look too far ahead, today has enough worry in it to keep you busy. Stay in the now.

You're going to be ok, even though it feels like it won't be.

[daybyday]

Thanks Thornton and GWH. In a good place today but we know how fleeting that can be. WAW has been in almost constant contact since S. Mostly about S13 and CATV not working yet and other logistics. I know I'm in for the boundary speech so have at it. ha Trying to be a cooperative co-parent but not be roughshod.

She was always having to come to me to help her make decisions. Maybe she will get some harsh reality while learning to make some of her own. It may be that her new found independence iss good for her without me. I'm not okay with that but that is reality as of today.

I am gonna do as a good buddy suggested. Proceed as though it is already over and you are moving on. Basic principle of DB but to hear it from someone not familiar with the site was good.

If I can do that, without being sucked back in by her, I will be on my way.