Rednail- Me, Myself, and I

[1313]

Rednail,
one thing I've noticed on this thread is that as soon as you practice your DBing, gain strength, GAL, are self-assured, set your boundaries, detach etc. your H pursues you. It's textbook classic. He can't stand it.

I know it's hard - but IMO you've got to double down on this. I'm not sure if telling him he's hovering is covered by DB, but I don't know why not! It's a boundary. Draw an invisible line around your space, and enforce it. You've got to get really serious, and you've got to detach even further. Keep at arms length and then add a few feet to that.

Letting him lie on the bed next to you allowed him to be the one to declare he was leaving, not you. You shouldn't have been there, or hopped up as soon as he did that. I would think if you're ignoring him - it shouldn't be so he can be so close.

You're right in avoiding days like today - it's too easy for you to fall off the wagon and your H is going to play you like a fiddle if you do. However, it can't always be avoided. You need to operate on your schedule at your convenience.

You can use days like today to your advantage as well. Sit and read a book and ignore him. Do some prep work in the kitchen. Something that will tell him he's in the way - but he can observe from a distance. Continue ignoring. Try cutting texts in half. Distance.

You're feeling better about yourself and it shows. It's attracting him. You're detaching and he can't stand it. Keep it up, you're marvelous!