Someone please help me with a plan of action!

[1313]

rustbkt - my WW is similar, once she says she's doing something she does it. Unfortunately, I've seen what happens to people that are on her wrong side - that's the spot I am now.

I've been in the watching the train run full steam into the wall, only now I'm in a bit of a limbo - even for just 48 hours.

I always believed my WW, and anything she told me. The difference for me is that she's got a schedule based on the whims of other people, so if she said she was running late for some reason I believed her.

I was so stupid that she had scheduled a trip to Italy last June for art lessons. I said I wouldn't go just for a week to watch her paint. Then all of a sudden, she added 2-1/2 weeks to the trip. I thought gosh, I'd kind of like to go if she's doing a tour - what gives? But time was short, so I decided to stay and work on a project. I never thought for a second the odd coincidence that a friend and client of hers was going to Italy at the exact same time! What are the odds?

Yeah, pretty dumb, huh? Of course, it turned out this was the OM - she'd meet with him in different places, telling me she was doing other things. I kind of wondered why she started to like texting all of a sudden - when she told people how much she hated it and not to text her. But she could text with him right in front of me.

So, the same day I found out she was filing divorce I looked at her phone when she was in the shower, and saw the text messages. While there was nothing explicit - they were far too cozy for a friend/client, and also told me she was meeting with him when she was telling me something else. It was obvious she had been deleting the text threads - but she left about 4 days worth which was all I needed to see.

At our age (not to drag us down) we're a lot more clever and less obvious than the 20 somethings - and don't get overly lusty. Our hormones are no longer running rampant! Messages will be more subtle, and not a lot of them. If something is going on though - and you care to look - you'll find it.

Of course, there's the possibility something else is causing all of this. In my case again - the symptoms of an A and MLC can be very similar, there could even be a bit of both. My W suddenly got very health conscious (more than usual) exercising in a very serious way, dieting, losing weight - even braces. If you've noticed none of these things then I'm stumped.

If you don't know any more than what you've said, at least a DB coach can help you with the process you're about to undergo. The coach will probably be able to ask you some specific questions to get information out of you that we're not aware of.