[You are reading too much into what she is doing/thinking. What does your L advise you to do? If she is really canceling the divorce, she needs to initiate it as she is the Petitioner. Your L should recommend to proceed to defend you against the D unless she files for dismissal. You shouldn't be negotiating with your WW on this, your L should be talking to her L.
Hi CWOL, actually - these are the 2 options as I see it. Friday, when I got the call from my L, she was conveying what the W's L had heard from the W "I'm not moving forward with the divorce".
My L and the W's L were wondering what she meant by that - and the W cut the conversation short which is even stranger. Both L's got from that "reconciliation", although my L also thought it could mean something else as I mention somewhere earlier in this thread. My L asked me to reach out to the W to see what she meant – and after checking in here the consensus was as I felt – do nothing. So I didn’t.
I hadn't seen the text my W sent me early that morning until late Friday "I told my attorney to stop the divorce", which again meant to me "stop the divorce". So at that point, I decided I should find out what it was she was talking about. I figured 2 messages that were the same required some sort of acknowledgement. So I texted back “what do you mean by this?”.
It wasn't until mid-Saturday the W answered my question that she didn't mean stop the divorce at all. She wanted a mediator, and had a bunch of reasons why, including the L’s were prolonging things for their own purposes, “we” had gotten mean and backed into corners (we?!?) etc. We’re better than this she claimed.
Now, there's 3 of us who felt that stop the divorce or not moving forward with the divorce means exactly what it says. 2 of them attorneys. She had plenty of time to send me or tell her L something more coherent. Something like “I want to try using a mediator instead”. Just a few more words, and pretty easy to interpret.
I'm also feeling (although this is mind reading again) since she was out of town with an old friend who I had hoped might talk some sense (and a little God) into her - that could have happened. However, I also know she was gone Friday night, probably with the OM. This would also explain why it was nearly 20 hours later she sent me her "clarified" message. An evening with the OM brought her back to the dark side?
CWOL, what you're saying makes sense - it sounds like you know a heck of a lot more about this process than I do. That's why I was thinking let her drive the bus. But if she does something - doesn't she have to do it by Monday? I mean, if the court date is Tuesday, that's not much time at all.
My L did say that even if she files to stop, we can insist it moves forward. In the end, it gets to the 2 possible answers. 1) Go ahead with the D as scheduled even if she wants to stop the D, I have the right to continue, or 2) Let her file to delay or cancel or whatever it is that she needs to do, and accept that as it will buy me time.
If I don’t answer the WW, then I just need to tell my L to proceed as normal unless we hear otherwise? I don’t know – and I guess that can only be answered with a phone call on Monday. I just need to let the L know I’m good either way I suppose, but not to insist that we force the D if the W wants to do something different. At least for the moment.
Me: 58 Her: 59 Kids: 0 Dog: 1 ILYBINILWY: 9/15 D Bomb: 1/11/16 (found out filed) Verified OM: 1/11/16 Moved out: 1/11/16 (thought it was temporary)