Still hoping for progress II

[daybyday]

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[daybyday]

Dropped WAW at her parents house so she could get a uhaul to move. Upon leaving, she thanked me and gave me a hug and started crying. I am sure strictly out of guilt. She gave me kiss and I said goodbye. I held up pretty good. There were wet eyes but no breakdown.

I then went and said goodbye to all of her family out of obligaion as they were all there. then I left.

I am at my sisters enjoyiong family and she texts me...."u guys having fun?" Kind of made me angry. She is prolly feeling guilty and is still cakeeating. I did not text back yet and I dont think I will. I need to start becoming more unavailable to her.

[Thornton]

Good job, D.

Let her feel the consequences of her decision.

Now it's time to focus on you so you can get strong.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

[daybyday]

Thanks T. Phase two of DB starts tomorrow. The hardest thing I have ever had to do was to say goodbye to W knowing that for the first time in 25 years, she is living somewhere else.

It will be a rough week, but I will get through it. Time to resume the gym and "stud" up. ha

[WillDo]

Hang in there.

[daybyday]

Thanks WillDo.

Back from our trip and it was another punch in the gut to see all of her stuff gone. Got busy into some chores.

A few minutes ago she calls me and sound sad. Tells me that one of her relatives has passed. I offered my sympathy and then really didnt know how to proceed. I was kind of quiet and let her talk. She brought up some other logistical items. There were long pauses as if she was waiting for me to say more. I didnt. She asked me if later on in the week if I would help her get a couch and chair. I said I will have to check my schedule.

I found out the reason she texted me last night was she was worried that we were badmouthing her in front of S13. She ask me for us both to promise not to do that. I said S13 is my top priority and I would never talk about you in front of him. Wow. Talk about a guilty conscience.

My question is when on the phone, am I to be upbeat or what? Not sure how to proceed with much of this stuff. She apologized for leaving some small items still in house and said she will have to come over to get S13 some clothes for her apt. I said call before as I have errands to run.

When she comes over I guess i am to be upbeat. Suggestions as this is all new now. I dont want to be an B-hole but I don't know where the line is for "friendship".

[Thornton]

Yes. The book says to "act as if" you have had an awakening and are going to be fine with or without her.

Hang in there. It's early days for you, it will sting but then slowly get better as the weeks pass by.

[HopeRB]

I agree with Thornton. Do your best to act as if. It sounds like you already are able to "pretend." Wish I had gotten a hold of that as early as you did.

Stay strong.

[Vapo]

Trying to be friends with her will get you screwed over. Just you watch... She will be "friendly" as long as allher demands are met, but if you dare to put your foot down, then all hell will break loose. Just you watch.

I would suggest making a list what she can take and set a date by which time all is to be collected. Why should you be dying a little bit each day? Your home isn't the fcucking display case where she can pick trough anything and everything. WTF?!? She want's out, let her figure her [censored] out!

[CWOL]

At thirteen your S can be told the facts. Don't embellish things and make her worse than she is but don't hide any facts. It's worse for you to "cover" for her, then later for your S to find out the truth from others. Better to explain things factually, the truth will come out eventually.

I did that with my S11 and it made him sad but he was fine. I think in the long run it will be better for him to know the truth.