Thanks for being there Spark. Yes I do feel a little better but then I never know when it's going to come again. Between waking up this morning, church and now, I've cried literally a thousand tears. And it hurts even more when I see ppl that know us and ask me how I'm doing and look at me, deep into my eyes and know I'm hurting but I don't say anything and just smile and talk about something else.
It's hard.
People look at me on the train and who knows what they think. And people stop me on the street and ask if I need help. Like this is crazy. I'm strong. I am. I hate feeling this way. But I know there's something happening here and I need to continue to be patient in my life and put one foot in front of the other.
I live in fun part of town and I always see young families and couples walking with their coffees and blah, blah down the street. We used to do that. I miss it and want it again with H.
"Be messy and complicated and afraid and show up anyways."
