I Still Think It's Too Late (pt 2)

[CWOL]

I have 2 ways to go. I can tell my L to tell the W's L to perform, as that's our right now that she's filed. I'd half like to do that as it would be a blow to the gut for the W and ruin her little vacation she's got planned next week with the OM.

I could also tell my L to tell the W's L to go ahead and put things on hold (I'm really not sure how this can be done) and not say anything at all to the W as far as her other wishes regarding a mediator. I guess the L can tell me how any of this would work - but I still want our side to finish up and be prepared for another sneak attack.

You are reading too much into what she is doing/thinking. What does your L advise you to do? If she is really canceling the divorce, she needs to initiate it as she is the Petitioner.
Your L should recommend to proceed to defend you against the D unless she files for dismissal. You shouldn't be negotiating with your WW on this, your L should be talking to her L.