Each day I wake up and try to do the best I can. Each day my life seems dim, not vigorous, not bright, feebleness, absence of brightness or vigor, dullness, dimness, insignificance, shade, a shadow. I understand that I am creating this environment, it is my perspective.
Vanilla, my primary issue in CBT is my abandonment schema. I am aware that this is the source of my struggle and am working to overcome it's influence. Each day is cold & windy and I stand in the shadows while there is sun all around me. I've made someone my sun and there is no warmth and light for me. I know I must make myself the sun and spread my love and compassion on all the objects in orbit around me. The feelings of rejection and abandonment stifle me.
Roiste, I appreciate your effort to assist me. I carry great disappointment, I have been rejected and abandoned. This is a source of constant suffering for me. I am not sure I want to be this vulnerable ever again. Even if I did, I don't think I could trust someone with my heart again.
All I have is let go of my burdens yet I cling to them
