Well the shower went well..3 mimosas and 4 sangrias later and I had a little moment. I got emotional (happy tears) then went into the bathroom and had a few sad tears not boohoo crying but had to wipe a few tears away.
The bride came in to ask if I'm ok. I'm like yes I'm just peeing! Pulled it together and just told her that I was just so happy for her and that they were happy tears and she gave me a hug and kiss and told me her cousin(h) is an idiot and she was happy I came.
I was not gonna ruin her day with my issues. It was super fancy, they spent over 1000$ for a 20 person shower, but it was AMAZING.
I went home after to get my overnight bag I forgot. H got to see me all dolled up, he did not say anything BUT I know I LOOKED AND FELT GOOD and confident. High heels, black body hugging dress with mesh see through panels where you can see a nude color, a jacket with it.
He was distant, I didn't care. He was watching tv in the room and the kids were watching tv in the living room. I made it a fast hugs and kisses, grab stuff and leave visit.
He texted me at 11pm saying "I'm impressed. No shirt showing tonight? Lol " ( He is talking about long story short when I was tipsy and kinda made a move at him when he asked me over at 1:30 am and we hungout and kinda cuddled..aka my rock bottom moment brought to you by alcohol and poor decision making.)
I ignored him.
I TRIED going on a friend date. THAT WAS AWFUL.
He asked me to go hangout. On the way I called and asked exactly what he thought this was. He said date.. i said no..it can be hangout out as friends but not a date. He had a tantrum, so I didn't go. He said I'm mean and making my life more miserable. Why if my H is dating why can't I? Why if my H doesn't love me, why can't I have someone who will?
I was like UGHH NOOOO. Turned my car around and went home.
