I Still Think It's Too Late (pt 2)

[trumpet]

1313,

Thanks for sharing the blow-by-blow. It's tough to take. My sitch involved my W filing the D, then not serving me for 2 weeks, then serving me, then filing a reconciliation order 3 days later, then my having to restart the D due to wife back with OM and not working on any reconciliation. I still don't want divorce, but with the W not stopping, and from what it sounds like, you're in the same camp.

Detach, relax, and realize you're experiencing some of the most intense, uncomfortable feelings you've ever felt in your life. When someone dies, you have grief, but it's an end of a life. Your long marriage is bouncing around like a ping-pong ball, and so are your emotions. They're temporary, your beliefs are not. Zues is one that helped me with that on this board, as did Sandi.

Somehow, someway, see the sitch from the 100 ft. point of view, and realize that your wife could waffle back and forth for months, if not years. The courts, though, are on a clock, and that clock is ticking. Her full shame/guilt/regret might not hit for months, if not YEARS after the dust settles. MLC's take years, not months, as a general rule. I think you need to feel like your life is a ship that has tacked, and a different course has been charted. W's ship can tack back and follow you, but for now, you have to feel like you are captain of your own ship, with no connection to W's ship. Man up in the sense that you have YOUR feelings and emotions, and don't react to your wife's feelings and emotions. That's tough, I know. But if she's coo-coo for cocoa puffs right now, her feelings betray her (just like Luke Skywalker). My W's ship has set a very different course than my ship is now taking, and it would take some extra sails for her to catch up with me. She could, if she wanted to. But my ship is sailing straight and true, and I'm now enjoying the ride, after a hell of a beating by the waves at first. Trust the compass, trust your ship, and set course.