I wanted effort and I wanted to feel like I was worth it. When that wasn't happening, I became unsettled.
He may be a Love Avoidant - this is what typically happens with them. They fear being "engulfed" in a relationship. They may come on enthusiastically at the very start, but quickly subside to only giving you what they are in the mood to give - which may be much less often than what you want.
A Love Avoidant friend of mine once explained to me why he wouldn't call a girl for a date on Friday night until Friday day - he felt that if he called Monday to make a date for Friday, it was like he had a dentist appointment hanging over his head all week. He was fine with it if he called Friday and she wasn't available - but he didn't want to commit to a date in advance in case he didn't feel like it when the day came.
Love Avoidants do this and other distancing behaviors because they fear being engulfed; it doesn't mean that they don't enjoy your company, but frankly, a Love Avoidant guy is never going to be what you want in a relationship without him getting serious therapy - which most of them do not pursue.
Love addicts sometimes end up with Love Avoidants, because the addict will pursue and accept crumbs. I dated several LOve Avoidants after my divorce, although I definitely don't have love addict tendencies. I think I just was comfortable with unavailable guys for a while after my divorce as I wasn't quite ready for a full relationship yet.
Now I have a guy who is not avoidant at all - he calls me every morning, we make plans in advance to see each other, he participates with my family, he's all in and it's nice. You deserve that too.
