He's definitely confused and I think he wants to keep his options open, i.e., you would become Plan B if things didn't work out w/the ow. Also, they like to play nice so that you don't rock the boat and make demands on them.
I just love that word "separating". They all think that you can still be the best of buds when you separate and more so after divorce. They can't, in their little pea brains, wrap around the concept of what those two words mean. It doesn't mean that you will be there waiting for him to come home and continue to do the wifely things for him. It means that you are going on w/your life and they don't want to accept that we will not look at whatever relationship after the separation and/or divorce will be different. They tend to forget when this happens that they fired us from being their spouses and doing things for them.
Right now, he feels confident that you will not rock his boat on anything. He's counting on you to a great friend who does rat him out and also be there when the ow can't be there for him. He still wants to put up the appearance that everything is okay w/you and that you are okay w/what he's doing.
Me, personally? As much as I would want to go to Mexico, I wouldn't go w/him at this time, or if I did, I would want a separate hotel room and do my own thing. I wouldn't want to play second fiddle and help him keep up appearances to his friends that you are cool w/his behavior. But, again, that's me.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
