He hasn't mentioned being friends in a long time - we don't talk about our M or R. When he did say it back in the Fall, I told him absolutely not. That I had no desire to be his friend - civil coparents, yes, friends, not happening.
I do have boundaries written out and I feel like I stick to them for the most part. But, like Red, sometimes I think I make small blunders because we have to talk about the kids. I never initiate a text or email now unless I absolutely have to, I respond very civilly and short to his texts (try to validate if necessary) and I try to end all conversations first. But I am a people pleaser by trait, so sometimes I fill in lulls in the conversations and I need to stop that.
It is just tricky I guess because we haven't been civil since around Thanksgiving. So, the past 5 weeks of civility is new and I just don't know if it crosses the line to "friends". I don't think so because I don't want to be his friend and I am trying to show that with my actions. However, does he think we are friends because I am being civil, which is a huge change from my raging anger in December and January…..just tough to know what he is thinking, which is mind reading anyway.
So, I guess I just have to reread my boundaries, reread any communication we are having and make sure that I am comfortable with what I am doing. I have to remind myself I can only control myself and my actions.
Have "fun" on your run - I know how much you love to do it, but great idea to GAL to avoid the sadness of dropping off S13. I am so glad you got to spend that time with him. You two needed it!
S12 and I are headed to bball games today. Very disappointed our fav team lost in first round, but thought it would be fun anyway. Looking forward to spending one-on-one time with him. He is a sports nut!
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
