I am so sorry I wasn't around when you posted that. It bothers me to hear the pain in your words. I want you to know your not alone with your feelings. A lot of time I crave the anger too, it's easier than the other emotions.
Don't beat yourself up because of this. You are an amazing woman that put up with a lot of BS. The way H treated you was ridiculous. He didn't see you or appreciate you for the blessing to this world that you are.
I say take brokes advice and go do something nice for yourself. Massage, mani-pedi, gigalo, new hair style or colour, retail therapy. All the things you deserve.
You are always here for me when I am up or down. I, as will a lot of others, will be here for you through the ups and downs too
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
