I do think writing can be very theraputic. I have a like 20 pg document on my laptop full of all of my thoughts and emotions as I've gone through this.
M:26 H:32 T:8yrs ILYBNILWY/ "I'm not happy": 2/6/16 D-Day-discovered PA/EA: 2/10/16 Separated: 2/14/16 He's living with OW I moved to different state: 06/16 Currently: Trying to move forward
But its only for me. No one else will ever see it. And I'll probably never read it again. There's a lot of tears and pain in there but having it written in front of me, for me at least, means its just a little less inside me. Hence why I post so damned much here!
M:26 H:32 T:8yrs ILYBNILWY/ "I'm not happy": 2/6/16 D-Day-discovered PA/EA: 2/10/16 Separated: 2/14/16 He's living with OW I moved to different state: 06/16 Currently: Trying to move forward
I do think writing can be very theraputic. I have a like 20 pg document on my laptop full of all of my thoughts and emotions as I've gone through this.
Yes, writing it is fine, just don't accidentally push the SEND button!
Me-LBH, 48 Spouse-WW, 48 Married for 19 years Son, 12 BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding) BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA) WW filed D February 2016 WW moved out April 2016
Tyler I can understand you wanting to write the letter, but I do agree with the others. If you really were detached and finished, you wouldn't want to or need to put it on paper. You would just FEEL it. I would bet that she knows that you love your boys and are glad to have them, and that you loved her.....she's the one that left, not you. If you're wanting to put it on paper and actually give it to her, then it seems that you're wanting her to react to it. Maybe not tell you how she is feeling, but you're wanting her to feel something. If you just want to write it to get it out, you can go back to your journal in on here. You used to do that a lot. Or, if you prefer, write it out and then burn it so it's never seen. Either way, I wouldn't give it to her. Your thoughts and feelings change from day to day and what you put on paper today might not be what you would want to put on paper tomorrow. How she reads and takes it today would be different than how she would take it next week. Just enjoy your thoughts and feelings for what they are today and hope for happy thoughts and strong feelings for tomorrow.
M:45 H:48 M:11 No kids BD:Sept'15 EA:Confirmed 1wk later PA: Oct'15 12 '15 2 wk R Just kidding, H wants NC 12 '15 H back w/OW 4 '15 R &still working on it
Thanks everyone. I do feel like it would have been therapeutic for her to read it. It would have been a waste of my time. Nothing good would have come from it. I know how I feel and that's for me. Not her.
And MB. Your right. I don't know why I stopped journaling here. It's not like nothing is happening in my life. I'm on my way to get my older 2 kidlets right now so maybe before bed if I remember I will journal.
Talking just now brought up some sadness tho. I am going to have all my kids for the weekend and tomorrow is my birthday. I just realized it will be the first in awhile that W hasn't made me a cake or my special bday supper. ( steak Neptune).
As much as I feel done I know I still have a hand or 2 on the rope. I also know I'll be ok. Already feeling better.
Not sure where I would be if I didn't have the support of you all. First D it was a bottle. And it cost me a lot. Having all of you had made a huge difference in my attitude and approach to life.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
Happy early birthday, Tyler! I celebrated my bday in January without the H for the first time in 25 years and it was tough, so I understand how you feel. However, what a gift it is to have all of your children with you on your birthday. That is a true blessing. ((hugs))
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
So I have all 4 of my kids home. They are all in bed and they were all so happy to see each other. It really makes my heart smile. It hurts at the same time. I know they didn't see each other all the time before, it just feels different now. I'm not sure they see it and I'm not sure I do either. I think it's just the situation like something is missing.
Another thing that is bugging me. W texted me this am. Asking to call the boys this evening as she planned in it before we left the house for the day but she slept in. I said absolutely. We will be in the car from 530-830/9. i am happy that I learned to not say anything to the kids dealing with first wife as she would say she would call and then not do it. It drove W nuts too. She hated ex w. Now she falls right in line, too busy I guess. Disappoints me really.
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
Its great to have your kids around you, that is the most important thing on your birthday. I hope you have a great day celebrating with your kiddos.
I also had my S tonight and we went to the movies. The movie was horrible but he company was great. Seeing him relax and smile makes this process a bit easier and my weekend worth having!
Sorry W missed the call but it was her loss not your!
Me 41 W 33 M 2013 Suspect A 11/15 Confirm A 1/16 She moved out 2/14/16 Stepson 13 Stepson 16
