Who am I and what do I want?

[JGuy]

Hi Jguy , I've read your responses and I feel it's time for me to remove myself from your thread. I wish you all the best and hope things work out for you and more importantly for your son. If I may just say a few things

I would ask you to read the story of Budda teaching a student of how to find " the answer " to life , The student searched all over and tried so hard to understand but he couldn't or wouldn't see what was in front of him

I've followed your thread from the start , you have blamed your birth, your dad , your W , me , other posters , etc because we did not treat you the way you wanted or advise you the way you wanted. PLEASE PLEASE , actually be the independent thinker you claim to be and THINK what's the common denominator here I'm not saying it's all your fault , far from it , your W has acted with very low moral fibre but you are not doing yourself any favours with the ego you are carrying around. Sometimes we are wrong and it's hard to accept that maturely and I speak from experience, instead of using words like integrity to describe your self why not try the word humble or thoughtful There is an old joke about a guy asked to describe his worse fault and the guy thinks long and hard and answers that he is too generous !!!

Eckhart toole describes ego very well

It's funny because Rd is sounding a lot like the cult leader whom I had the falling out with 12 years ago. Ironically, that cult leader (Mada Dalian) knows Eckhart Tolle personally. I met Eckhart Tolle myself about 15 years ago while I was in that cult. I read his books and I think he is great! I have my own mystery to solve. Indeed, I have plenty of ego that gets in the way of me finding my own truth. And it's also true that people often misinterpret me and fail to see the goodness of my intentions and the validity of my own mental process. Life is full of these strange paradoxes. Ultimately, I've got to find my own truth within, or I'll just spin in self doubt and worrying that other people know better than I do about what's right for me.

On the IC vs Shaman debate , my point was IC said you had no empathy for others and Shaman said you gave to much of yourself to others You agreed that both were right

Both the IC and Shaman both felt that I was giving too much of myself away. I don't think there's a contradiction. On the inside I give too much of myself away, and as a result, on the outside I have trouble feeling empathy. I think these are connected and it makes sense. By healing from the inside out, starting by not giving too much of myself away anymore, I will then be able to interact with other out of freedom and inner wholeness, and I will be able to feel more empathetic.

If you decide not to come back to my thread, Rd, then that's too bad. I agree it has been frustrating how we seem to miss each other, but you seem to be attached to a conclusion that you think you are right and I'm wrong, and that the problem has more to do with my ego. I would challenge you to own your part and stay open.