Still hoping for progress

[daybyday]

Thanks V, T and broke. Having a hard time holding it together when I got home tonight. She had been home since 3pm and has so much stuff packed up. Looked in one box and all her summer shirts. It's hard not think of this as permanent.

It's also hard to see her not sad like me. This is our last night together. I know where her head is. This is her new life. She's excited.

I am able to catch my tears before they fall, but I've done that about a dozen times and I fear my luck will run out. I hope I can make it to the bathroom if I lose it. I'm sure tonight in bed will be hard.

I am 6'4 275lbs. It's hard to think that a person could bring a big horse like me to tears on a regular basis. I can just hope that maybe she begins to miss me and the family togetherness. That's hard to figure right now. Like you say Thornton, life is jungle and I have been her safe, comfort zone for 25 years. It makes me feel used. Like she climbed lifes ladder using my back and now is ready to jump off with a big "see ya sucker". I was there when she wanted to do figure competitions, I was there when she wanted to go back to school so she could substitute teach. I am the one she comes to get advice on stuff she has going on. Just don't understand at all.

As you say T I will get the routine down and it will get easier. If only I could stop being so nostalgic. Mind just races with it. Dos Equis again tonight for dinner.