I Still Think It's Too Late (pt 2)

[1313]

Tim, broke, thanks for the encouragement.

Sandi says that the WW has to justify what they're doing, but I just never dreamed it would get so twisted.

You're right about an aggressive attorney - I'm a little concerned I've not gotten some pretty direct questions answered. I don't know if I need to respond to her 5 page diatribe statement or not. I guess as a non attorney I feel that everything needs to be addressed, but I suppose if something is not legally relevant they just ignore it.

At least she's sending me a little of the back and forth between the other attorney now.

I probably shouldn't have helped the W yesterday by getting the internet working when I was there. It didn't really dawn on me that she had mentioned "I'm paying the bill" like that's supposed to be some advantage to me. Anyway, all you do is press the "reset/scan" button on the router - like I did a hundred times before.

She wants her artwork that I scanned, which I will give her - I took a spindle full of DVD's from the house. But I'm not turning over any of the artwork I did for her. If she's pulling this crap, if there's one thing I'm versed in it's copyright law. I don't recall granting a universal license to her. She can buy one for each piece if she likes.

Oh well, my diversion of doing a painting is over. Now I need to look at what I'm going to do with my life. I'm not quite sure why I'm agreeing to do a job search to maintain spousal support if I'm doing a different career. Unfortunately, at my age there are zero openings in my field. She knows that.

Court date is next Tuesday. I have no idea what's happening or what's involved - maybe I'll learn something before it happens?

I think right now I'm going to go take a nap. I had a dream about the W last night, and I woke up realizing sadly it was a dream. So, from 3am on I was wide awake. Now I can barely keep my eyes open.

I'll check back in later - thanks for everything.

[1313]

Ok - my heart is in my throat right now.

My lawyer just called - she said she just got off the phone with the W's L.

The W just called him, and said she doesn't want to move forward.

What does that mean? What could it mean?

Of course, it's a friggin' Friday. I so need to call a DB coach right now.

My L asked if I would consider reconciliation - and I said yes. But do I? After all this. All the pain. My God. I have to go do some hard reflection.

Of course, she might mean she didn't want to go to court - put it on hold - I dunno.

What I do know is at the moment, it's me, the DR book for a complete re-read and the Bible.

Guys? Is this another curve ball?

[1313]

Oh, I forgot to mention, the W cut her conversation short with her L, she suddenly said she had to go. So it could be she had a momentary lapse of insanity, and came back for a second and then realized what she was doing?

Or, she had a spat with the OM?

[broke]

I hope some of the veterans on this site weigh in…..It would be horrible to think it is another curve ball. I am very hopeful for you but want to warn you that the DR book says don't move to fast or it may scare them away and sometimes it takes more than 1 time for the thought of reconciling to "stick".

You have plenty of time to hash out if you want to get back together. If it really is an option is the first step. Take it very slow is the only advice I can give….maybe wait for her to contact you.

I hope others give advice and I really hope that you get what you are looking for 1313!

[1313]

BTW - my L wanted me to reach out to the W to see what's going on.

On that particular thought I think it's not a good idea.

If the W is considering R, I think she needs to come to me, right?

[1313]

I hope some of the veterans on this site weigh in…..It would be horrible to think it is another curve ball. I am very hopeful for you but want to warn you that the DR book says don't move to fast or it may scare them away and sometimes it takes more than 1 time for the thought of reconciling to "stick".

You have plenty of time to hash out if you want to get back together. If it really is an option is the first step. Take it very slow is the only advice I can give….maybe wait for her to contact you.

I hope others give advice and I really hope that you get what you are looking for 1313!

Thanks for weighing in so fast broke!

Yes, I'm hoping to hear from some vets too. I'm in shock, and I shouldn't allow myself to be. I need to calm down and convince myself nothing has changed.

If it has - I'm NOT thinking of doing much of anything right now. How can you be so completely rock bottom, and wind up digging even further into this pit of despair to suddenly see light? is the light coming from the top, or did I dig my way through and I'm about to fall?

If this is real - I need to refresh the DR bigtime. I can't blow it. But I also can't let her play me for a fool again either.

[broke]

Gosh, I really don't know. My thought is that you should wait for her……I hope someone with some experience on this site can tell you more. Can you get out your book and reread the section with anything on reconciliation? Call your DB coach with an emergency :-)? If this is truly a chance, I don't want you to "blow it" by giving you bad advice. I think she knows that you said you would because you told the L yes correct? I am so hopeful for you but I don't want your expectations to be high and get crushed. Cautious optimism, I guess

[Sparkls]

My advice is to DO NOTHING. Think of her as a squirrel. If you move, she'll bolt. She'll come to you.

[broke]

Well, my former IC told me that she had a client that was cheating on his wife for 9 months, he said horrible things (similar to what we have all been told) and he called it off 5 days before the D was to be final. And they reconciled. 5 years later they are still together, so it seems like there are some successful reconciliation stories out there, let's hope that this is one for the good guys. But, I agree with you, stay calm, don't do anything rash and keep your expectations low…..

[sandi2]

Was W's lawyer asking for a response from you? If so, maybe you need more information about what was meant in not going forward.

I agree with Broke's advice. Don't be too fast to respond with an answer for her attorney.

Having second thoughts about reconciliation is not uncommon, from what I read. Many times the LBS is so focused on saving the marriage/family that whenever they do get their S back........then resentment hits them, and the LBS becomes the WAS. So, maybe you need to seriously consider if you want to risk taking a chance on going through this again. Let the final decision be left to you, instead of your WW.