Still hoping for progress

[daybyday]

Maybe next time Vapo.

Tomorrow is S day. W is moving out while me and S visit relatives. Feeling the stomach knot again. I know I will hold it together, but feeling the sadness no doubt.

I often posted and wondered how WAS can be so carefree and normal when they are moving on? I guess they have detached from LBS months or years ago and we are just that far behind them. We will get there.

I hope that a month or two from now, I will be on my way. First I will have to get my feet back on the ground after having the rug pulled from underneath. Don't know what tonight will bring. Hoping for the best.

[Vapo]

Stay strong buddy... You are not alone, we're here for you...

[Thornton]

Yep, stay strong, D.

I won't lie, if you are anything like me, it's going to sting to see all her stuff gone so prepare yourself.

But, you will slowly get your balance back and establish new routines. That's when you will start to feel more comfortable.

This is just another dip in the roller coaster. You'll get through it.

[broke]

It was rough to see half my H's stuff gone (for some reason, half is still here). It will definitely sting and hurt. Just know that lots of us have been through it and we are here for you to listen and offer moral support.

I will say that being physically separated has helped me breathe and find my voice again. There was so much tension when H was here and it was affecting the kids, too. It has been much easier to GAL, detach and meet my 180 goals. That is not to say it doesn't hurt like hell. But, you have to look at the bright side….

[daybyday]

Thanks V, T and broke. Having a hard time holding it together when I got home tonight. She had been home since 3pm and has so much stuff packed up. Looked in one box and all her summer shirts. It's hard not think of this as permanent.

It's also hard to see her not sad like me. This is our last night together. I know where her head is. This is her new life. She's excited.

I am able to catch my tears before they fall, but I've done that about a dozen times and I fear my luck will run out. I hope I can make it to the bathroom if I lose it. I'm sure tonight in bed will be hard.

I am 6'4 275lbs. It's hard to think that a person could bring a big horse like me to tears on a regular basis. I can just hope that maybe she begins to miss me and the family togetherness. That's hard to figure right now. Like you say Thornton, life is jungle and I have been her safe, comfort zone for 25 years. It makes me feel used. Like she climbed lifes ladder using my back and now is ready to jump off with a big "see ya sucker". I was there when she wanted to do figure competitions, I was there when she wanted to go back to school so she could substitute teach. I am the one she comes to get advice on stuff she has going on. Just don't understand at all.

As you say T I will get the routine down and it will get easier. If only I could stop being so nostalgic. Mind just races with it. Dos Equis again tonight for dinner.

[Thornton]

Hang in there, Pal.

It gets easier but it will sting for a while. Just know that what you are feeling is normal.

You gotta let her go if she's ever going to realize she wants to come back.

When my W dropped the bomb on me, right after she ended things, she made a pizza and watched American Idol. I was gutted. She couldn't even pretend this was hard for her.

I totally understand you feel used. I saved and penny pinched for years to buy our home. My credit is a lot better than hers so the house is only in my name. She picked the furniture and I paid for it. She left after 6 months leaving me in our big house to fend for myself with all the bills etc. She got to go live with her mom for free while I struggle to buy groceries.

She didn't give a damn.

[broke]

daybyday,

I am so sorry. It truly is horrible to see that all happening. You can do this - begging, pursuing, pleading and forcing relationship talk hasn't worked yet. So, we have to try another strategy and DB'ing is it. Will you be out of the house tomorrow? I suggest being surrounded by family to get unconditional love for the whole time. Let W handle it all herself. She wanted this - it is up to her to make it happen. Try not to get upset in front of you child or W. I know it completely stinks but you can do this. Stay strong - we are here for you tomorrow….((hugs))

[Sparkls]

DBD: I, of course as you've probably read, am in a very similar situation in that we're separated and I"m stuck in the feeling like it's permanent too. The one thing I keep trying to remind myself is that it's just stuff. It's easy to move. Nothing is permanent in life. The only constant is change.

Of course, I can't get myself to believe my own hype but maybe it'll help you some.
I find that hot showers help me personally. I've been taking like 2-3 a day. I can think, cry, and get out and be clean.
My water bill is going to be ridiculous but oh well.

[daybyday]

Thanks guys and gals. I will be surrounded by family tomorrow as I am staying with family all night saturday.
We were just out in the garage and she asks me out of the blue...."are you going to be alright without me here?". I had to fight it so hard but I held it together and said. "yes, but it will be an adjustment". Was she wanting a different answer? Was she wanting me to say no I won't make it?

She said "i'll still care, I'm not completely shut off".
Thats what makes this so bizarre to me. She cares but yet she feels she has to leave. These type of encounters really fruck with me. I have a feeling there will be of this throughout our night. I will try to DB but there is one thing that I want to say to her. "This just seems so permanent".

[broke]

That was a good response. Not sure what type of response she was looking for, but you WILL be alright without her. In fact, you are going to be the best version of you that you can be! You will be an H that only a fool would leave. Stay strong - thinking of you