Red, It's not suck up. You do what is best for you too, and for your kids. The part of being fair is that one of these days he will realize what he is losing.
I am sure during the M you did some not so nice things (as I did many) and he did too. The new your is not trying to get back on him, no revenge, passive aggression, resentment. I know you have all the reasons to feel this way, but it is not the way to make your H realize his best place is home with his wife and kids.
If you want him back and is willing to change, then start on things that you can change... Just let go. Live for YOU.
