Ginger, I'm very sorry how things worked out w/the ng, but you are right...you deserve everything and not just a few kibbles here and there. If he can't commit, then it's time to cut the ties and move on. I do understand how you are feeling right now, but there are far more fish in the sea and the right one for you will come along when you least expect it. Don't settle for just a few kibbles, you settle for the whole enchilada. You owe that to yourself.
As for your cousin, be careful. Sounds like she wants to control the situation and you. She sounds like a very insecure lady who wants you and only you as a friend. I can't even begin to see counseling for the two of you. In fact, she should be seeing someone on her own to try to figure out why she's so jealous of you.
I hope things go well at the dinner and if the discussion gets heated, cut the discussion short and leave...don't continue to try to reason w/her because you can't. You already know this drill from dealing w/the xh.
How is that beautiful D of yours? I imagine she's growing by leaps and bounds.
The only two people you need to worry about right now are you and your darling D. As for the cousin...be polite or should I civil and don't engage w/her too much. I know you've got this...but you have enough on your plate and I don't want to see you down and out sick because of too much going on in your life.
Please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
