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Originally Posted By: Cristy
Hi Sparkls,

Tim R- Thanks for the vote of confidence regarding your DB Coach. I'm glad you are finding the time well spent.

Sadness is often harder to manage than anger. Sadness takes wind out of your sails while anger fills the sales with hot air. Focusing on being the best Sparkls that only a fool would leave is the best way to keep those emotions productive.

I highly recommend taking of advantage of the online special for Telephone Coaching. You are at a very fragile point in this relationship and it would be extremely helpful to know what your next move should be. Please call me to discuss our DB coaching program at 303-444-7004.

Cristy
Resource Coordinator
The Divorce Busting Center
303-444-7004


If only I could afford it. Poor struggling medical student especially now that H (the person. Who made money) walked away


M:26 H:32 T:8yrs
ILYBNILWY/ "I'm not happy": 2/6/16
D-Day-discovered PA/EA: 2/10/16
Separated: 2/14/16 He's living with OW
I moved to different state: 06/16
Currently: Trying to move forward
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Hi broke. I would like your feedback on my last posted question. If you get a chance could you weigh in? Thank you


Fight the good fight no matter the quality of your opponent.

Me-50 WAW-45
S13
Married 24 years
Bomb 1-Jan.2008
Disc. EA
She came back for 8 years
Bomb 2-Jan-2016
Separation 3-12-2016
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Broke, thank you for bringing up this topic.

I feel like I am not going to be able to be healed because I have not been able to attend IC sessions. Everyone seems to say how important it is to talk to someone when you are going through such a traumatic event. I just haven't found the right person.

I feel our MC made things worse and she proved to be a bit unethical, and then I wasn't thrilled with my sessions with an IC. Like you, I felt I would rather use that time on other things.

I feel lost when it comes to the field of psychology. I don't trust the counselors. I don't understand how to quantify or set goals. I just have difficulty grasping how it actually works. Whats the difference between talking with a counselor and talking with a best friend. Maybe i just need to try a couple of different people.


M: 42
H: 43
Twins age 5
WAH in summer
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JujuB,

I have tried two counselors now and the H and I went to one session with a MC and it went horribly. I find that I can talk to my two closest friends and those of you on this board to get empathy, support and the occasional 2x4 when I need it.

I think I am going to take a break from it. I feel like it is a waste of time and money at the moment. If I feel like I want to go back, I will interview a couple over the phone about setting goals, monitoring them and such. I will keep everyone posted to see if I miss it…..


M 44 H 46
M 20yrs T 25 yrs
S15 S12

ILYBINILWY 7/18/15
Move to MBR 9/8/15
Physical Separation 10/10/15
Suspect A 8/2015
Confirm A 12/27/15
D filed by H 2/2/16
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I feel like some of the posters on this board, have more knowledge and insight than many of the licensed counselors! they are amazing!


M: 42
H: 43
Twins age 5
WAH in summer
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 770
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broke Offline OP
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Agreed, JujuB, and you are one of the posters that I value feedback from…always thoughtful and insightful. Along with many others. It was a blessing to find this forum - I only wish I would've found it sooner.


M 44 H 46
M 20yrs T 25 yrs
S15 S12

ILYBINILWY 7/18/15
Move to MBR 9/8/15
Physical Separation 10/10/15
Suspect A 8/2015
Confirm A 12/27/15
D filed by H 2/2/16
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,799
Likes: 13
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Hey Broke,

Have you looked into a Solutions Based Therapist? That's what Michelle Weiner Davis is.

They help set goals and help you track them just like a DB coach would.

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Let me know how you make out broke and what questions you specifically asked them, maybe I can use them when my guy retires.


Me 41
W 33
M 2013
Suspect A 11/15
Confirm A 1/16
She moved out 2/14/16
Stepson 13
Stepson 16
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Posts: 770
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broke Offline OP
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Nope, never knew that. Is that what your therapist is? It seems like you enjoy your IC and get a lot out of it?


M 44 H 46
M 20yrs T 25 yrs
S15 S12

ILYBINILWY 7/18/15
Move to MBR 9/8/15
Physical Separation 10/10/15
Suspect A 8/2015
Confirm A 12/27/15
D filed by H 2/2/16
Joined: Nov 2013
Posts: 2,799
Likes: 13
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No, my IC is a marriage therapist and addictions counselor. So he's well versed in codependency which is my biggest issue.

Google Solition Based Therapy

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