I understand what you guys are saying and I know none of you want D either. But for some reason, when I read the D stories you've posted, I don't feel excited or empowered about life after D at all. If anything, it makes me mad that that may be apart of my history and my future.

Another thought Ive been thinking is that H seems to be a master DBer! Is DBing basically us mirroring the WAS thoughts and action but making it work for ourselves?

Also, there are a few financial things looming that H said he would take care of and needs to address now. How should I approach him about this- especially since we've been NC? I wanted him to initiate but he hasnt since I've seen him which makes me mind read that he felt good about himself, like he put his "good deed" time in by coming to check in on his poor, lonely wife who can't seem to get it together. How do I approach this?

"Be messy and complicated and afraid and show up anyways."