Sparkling not so bright

[Sparkls]

I know I'll be just fine regardless. But I guess I don't really want "just fine."
I feel like there's a big elephant in the room and it's saying " dude, he's gone. He's probably not coming back. Get over it."

I'm not feeling despair at the moment, but I'm just putting one foot in front of the other, going through the motions every day...And I look at what we'd have to overcome if he does come back and I just don't know if he's ever going to be willing to put in the work it'll take to get us to the better place...