2016 a New Year - getting out of my own fog

[Irish M]

I do understand how you feel about the divorce and yes, it's a step that you need to finalize things and continue moving forward w/your life. We all had some great times w/our spouses, but they sure do make it tough for us to remember them when they are acting out.

Hey Job, always good to hear from you.
Yes its a step forward. For her as well. She wants this so bad now and running is her thing. Our marriage needs to end.

My parents do spoil the girls. More with love than anything else. Also they listen to my D`s when they speak. They are the ultimate grandparents.

you are able to remember the good times with your W. That struck me, and is really something I needed to hear right now, because I am buried in bad memories right now of H and his parents, and I can literally feel the effect it has on me. Your comment reminds me to refocus, so thank you for that.

Hi Mleigh (((hugs)))
I am glad you can refocus, it is so important not to dwell on what is going on. Memories are filled with love. I can honestly smile at some of the memories that dance in my head. I focus on continuing those with my D`s. The only sadness I carry now is STBXW is missing out. I remind myself constantly that she is not well. NC helps trust me. I don`t see what she is doing and I don`t care to.

I had an amazing weekend thanks. This weekend I`m bringing the girls indoor wall climbing. I got a GoPro camera and I hope to capture some great moments.

IrishM, I am one of those "lurkers" that your posts have helped.

Your attitude about your situation and the calmness that can be sensed in this latest post is inspirational. I'm at the point where I have been questioning every good memory I had of my relationship.

Hi Ciluzen, It`s nice to meat a lurker :-) thanks for your nice comments.

I am truly sorry you are here. I am glad however you found this forum. will read up on your situation and help if i can . There are so many here and so many different situations. All have the same base though. You have to stop questioning your marriage.

Your Husband could of been married to anyone and it would of still happened. You did nothing wrong. He is broken not you. They tend to pull out the bad moments and usually they add to them, exaggerate and blow it up so big that we don`t even recognize that event. He`s justifying his reasons the marriage isn`t working.

You were married 25yrs. Yes I assure you that you did have amazing times. Your D`s are proof of that. Show them what a strong woman you are and hopefully your H realizes HIS mistake.



So of course no news from my STBXW or her lawyer. I sent in my counter offer and I am hoping she accepts it so we can spare spending any more money with lawyers. Funny thing is we are close to the same agreement as we had at mediation. This weekend its wall climbing .. I`ve done it but I want to initiate the D`s to it. Amazing work out.


take care everyone.

Irish