Ups and downs (II)

[broke]

JuJuB - so glad you posted, I was wondering how you were feeling.

So sadness instead of anger. Frusturated too, because I feel like our issues are fixable and he does not. It's so annoying when he says stuff to me like "I already tried".

I couldn't agree more with the above statement. More than anything, I would like to go back and "fix" the issues that were in my M before the bomb dropped and the "path was D". But, even if we (as the LBS) did everything right, there is still no guarantee that our H's would have done everything right. They still might have left.

And, I also feel like I am faking the detaching, too. But, what else can we do? Pursuing, begging, trying to reason with a WH doesn't work. So, I figure we have nothing left to lose. I am hoping that the more we can detach, the more we will let go and move toward acceptance. I also hope the more all us DB'ers like the new version of ourselves, the more confident we become in our next relationship with or without our H's.

I know it is hard. Every day it is a struggle at least some of the time. This morning, I could feel myself slipping into sadness. I had to consciously say no I am not going there today. While it wasn't my best day it wasn't my worst one either.

I am so sorry that you are still ill and feeling hurt and sad. Can you do something that makes you feel better tomorrow? Something that is a treat for a SAHM like a manicure or massage? Be gentle with yourself because you deserve it and your kiddos need you, too.