Haven't posted in a few days. I want to tell everyone I am doing great! After the anger of talking to W the other day passed I have been at peace with this all.
The argument now that I look at it was my fault because I let it happen and got sucked in. I have had civil conversations with W since. And today I feel like nothing can bring me down.
Not even spew from WW.
Have I dropped the rope? No I don't think so, closer than I have ever been.
A small part of me still holds out hope, and I am not sure why. I really feel like R was toxic. Sure we had good times, the boys we made together are the best thing to come from R. I always felt restrained in my opinions and belittled by my life choices in the past when I was with W.
I fully accept all my faults and decisions in my past. I can't change them now, and they weren't mistakes they were what I thought was the best thing to do at the time. Hind sight is always 20/20.
I refuse to be put through a life style like the one I was living with WW. I deserve better than that and so do my children. I have questioned myself all day why I have bothered to hang on this long, in my sitch hoping to R comes from a place o insecurity and low self worth. Like she was the greatest thing ever and I will never be that happy again. Well. I wasn't as happy as I deluded myself into thinking.
Mona made mention of spring shaking up our sitch's. This is how mine is shaking up. I have never felt more detached and never felt better about my decision to walk way. i am sure I will still have ups and downs. And all I wrote here today may be the opposite tomorrow. Who knows. It is what it is, and I have lived and get stronger through each good and bad day.
Today though. I am not the LBH. I am the WAH. Walking away from someone that doesn't appreciate me and doesn't see the amazing person I am
The person that you will spend the most time with in your life is yourself, so make yourself as interesting as possible.
