I'm not sure why her Ls are not talking to your Ls. It sounds as if that will cost extra money. But I don't have any experience with that.
Keep your chin up!
My L is sending them emails and documenting attempts for settling the matter. He will present to the judge our good faith attempts at settling out of court and ask for sanctions against them if they do file. My L's wife is a family court judge in another district so he should have some pull, hopefully. It's ridiculous what WW's L's are doing, trying to pump their fees.
Me-LBH, 48 Spouse-WW, 48 Married for 19 years Son, 12 BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding) BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA) WW filed D February 2016 WW moved out April 2016