It's not easy to just detach from someone we got that serious that we actually married the bastard.
It's a process, that's why to learn patience. Only time will make you feel better, be more detached, be more on your own skin.
At the same stage you are now, if I tough about balloon animals they would have the shape of my XH. Drinking coffee would be smelling his cologne, driving outside and would be thinking I could maybe drive over him and disappear him. LOL
Yeah, I know I got your smile now. But that is true. I did not disconnect until much later and many in this board did the same. Why? Because it is very hard.
I already told you that I invented some sad story to my boys and then ran to a hotel to spend the night with who? The guy that was already my XH. Well, I did it, was good. But was also bad because I knew I reset the clock and need to work harder to get my DBing campaign going again.
I did not hang myself in the garage the next day tough. It is just that... a learning process.
One day, all the sudden I said NO. It was from inside of my gut. I was not mad, not sad. I just said it wasn't for me anymore. Then I felt good.
It took me a long time to let go on the physical affection. I won't punish myself for that. I am glad I learned my value.
Time will help you. GAL will help you. Your new career will help you. Get yourself busy will help you.
Another thing to try, is always when he is to be in your house, you find something to do outside. I know it [censored]. At least I always tough it [censored] that I needed to make room for the prince. But it is for you. You won't betray yourself. There are days we can be all strong and confident, and there those other days that we just want a hug (and then we end up in bed).
If you want your H back, you need to let him go. Take this time as a vacation from him and do things you want to do for yourself. He will pay attention, he will have 2nd toughs, and if he decide to be an idiot, then at least you will be in a way for a much better life because you will be a better person.
